Cigarettes.

I want one so bad.  Not fiending for it, but I need it to relax.  Sadly I’m badly allergic to them and cigars.  Weed is just out of the question.

There’s a certain issue that’s driving me bat-shit crazy.  I’d go more into detail, but I don’t know who reads my blog and if said person finds out about any of this, I’ll go lay down in the middle of Lake Michigan in the middle of January.

I can’t get him out of my head and its making me sick.  The first couple of times things popped into my head I got sick.  Like bad sick.  I feel that if I took up smoking, I would feel better and not care.  Bullshit.  I’d get lung cancer from my first puff.

Maybe I should be a nun.  Then I can swear and get kicked out of the sisterhood of penguindom.  As many times as I have taken God’s name in vane over the past 4 days, I’ll probably burst into flames as soon as I step inside the church.

God damnit.