Talk about a stab in the back…

On Friday, we went to the drive in, Angel, Olivia and myself.  Before the movies started, Angel looked at me and was like “What if Dillon (my 2nd ex that left me for weed) wanted to be friends again?”  I responded with “I’m tired of giving second chances.  Its not going to happen.”  It struck me as odd at the time, but I let it go.

Tonight!, just before I got in the shower, I got a txt from Myspace saying that “dillon.” wants to be my friend.  Take a big guess as to it was!  He wanted to be my friend and talk to me about something.  Since I can, I am going to post what was said!  I am also going to post what I said to Angel after.  I hope she’s pissed and she’s crying.  I know that might sound harsh, but when you read things, you can probably understand why…

Me:

What is it you want to talk to me about?

Dillon:

haha...damn, didn't even accept my friend request.
but seriously, i'm unsure as to whether or not you're aware of the fact that i have feelings for Angel.
i'm hoping that we can maintain a civil veneer...but how do you feel about that?

Me:

I know you have feelings for Angel, its rather obvious. Give things you have said in the past, why even bother talking to me at all? You made it clear months ago you no longer wanted to be friends. This secretive bullshit is unfair all around. Do what you want, you already do.

Dillon:

why worry about the past?
i've changed quite a bit since we dated.
i really feel like i've found myself...so any perspective you may have had about me beforehand has more than likely changed.
i know i said that i didn't want to be friends...but that's changed.
i don't want us to not be friends...because there's no reason for it.
i was asking how you feel out of respect for you, because i wouldn't want to put a strain on your friendship.
i know that it would make things a bit uncomfortable, but it's nothing one can't adapt to.
if it makes her happy, then it's really not a major ordeal.
but i can see that no matter what i do, you're still going to be bitter towards me...even now, when i make a peace offering.
i'm sorry it turned out this way...and i know it's solely my fault that it's like this.

Me:

If she dates you, that shows what kind of friend she is. I didn't even know you two were talking like that.

And worry about the past? I feel used, Dillon. I really do. I can't help it and it probably won't go away.

It is big of you to try to make a peace offering, but I don't think I can do it. Sorry. I'm badly hurt and now I'm even more hurt.

Dillon:

how do you feel used?
i was honest with you when our relationship ended.
i needed to figure things out and i finally have.
but what's more important?
things that sucked in the past, or your friend's happiness?
i really don't know what else to say other than i'm sorry i hurt you...but i still don't understand how you could feel used.

Me:

You dated me while you had feelings for Angel, Dillon. I was even told you dated me in hopes to get over her. How can someone not feel used upon hearing that?

Dillon:

whoa, whoa, whoa....who in the hell said that?
my feelings for Angel developed after you and i had been broken up for quite some time.
how could i date you to get over feelings for her when i chose to date you well after i had met Angel?

Me:

I don't remember, to be honest, but I remember hearing it. It hurt worse than being hit by a car.  (It was Angel that told me this.  She said that he had said it.)

Dillon:

i know you probably don't trust me at all...but i swear on my uncle's grave that i never said anything of the sort.
i can understand how you'd be bitter, if that's how you thought it was.
i would never EVER use you to get over feelings for someone else.
i can demonstrate the excessive bullshit in the thought that i would do that.
if i had feelings for Angel to begin with...wouldn't it have been much simpler for me to have never pursued a relationship with you in the first place and concentrate on Angel?

Me:

Its happened before.

Dillon:

how so?
Jane, i am so sorry that you feel that way.
i wish i could show you how terribly wrong that is...but it's really up to you.
the thing is, Angel's so shy that i couldn't develop feelings for her from the moment i met her or anything.
you know as well as i do that she's not the most extroverted person.
so how could i have feelings for her and date you in order to overcome aforementioned feelings?
i knew very little about her until after you and i had ended our relationship.
i feel horrible that you think i'd do something like that to you and it physically angers me that someone would spew such unfounded bullshit.
i'm so sorry that you feel like that...i sincerely am.
all i can do is continually apologize and hope that you'll see that that is the furthest thing from the truth.

Me:

You have caused me more trouble than you can imagine. I can't fathom where to begin. So taking someone's word over actions is rather complicated.

Dillon:

umm...that didn't really answer anything, but okay.
i'm not gonna bother you anymore and this the last you'll ever hear from me.
it's entirely up to you whether or not you and i have any kind of friendship after all of this.
but just know that i am always open to reconciling things with you no matter what.
again, i sincerely apologize and i hope you see the truth.

Me:

I know that didn't answer anything, but frankly, I don't know who or what to believe anymore. I wish you had never started talking to her. That doesn't help your case at all and it doesn't help make me believe you. You know YOU KNOW that it would hurt me and it would make you look really bad. It still does. It makes her look bad too. Just leave me alone. Stay out of my life, please. I've shed more tears over you than I have my dead pets. Just please disappear outta my life. Please, I'm begging you.

Dillon:

you got it.
goodbye forever.
i'm sorry things had to be this way.

Me:

Thank you and I'm sorry too.

 

Now.  Here’s the thing.  Olivia and Angel told me they weren’t talking to him.  BIG LIE!  I sent Angel a txt after the first couple of messages…

Me:

If you date him…

Angel:

What?

Me:

Dillon is asking me permission to date you.  Asking me if we can be friends for your happiness.  Is there anything you haven’t told me?  Please tell me if there is.

Angel:

I dont know i just found he was talking to you because hes been sending olivia messages i really dnt need this shit after being dumped on by jeff  (Big fucking tear.  I fucking warned her A WHOLE SHIT LOAD OF TIMES HE WAS A WORTHLESS CUNT.  AND THE FACT SHE SAID SHE DIDN’T NEED THIS?!  FUCKING SELFISH TWAT.)

Me:

Yeah. Be warned then.

Me:

That explains that question you asked me at the drive in.

Angel:

No, That was not it.  I had asked that because i talked to him one night and i told him that he should try to be ur friend because of the dick way yall broke up.  (I don’t need favors.I was doing fine!  I was fixing my shit that he left nearly destroyed.  Seems like she said this shit to cover her own ass.)

Angel:

I was trying to help you because i know u really liked him and now i look like a dick (Yeah.  Really?  Yah fucking think so?!)

Me:

Yeah, but he had a hidden reason apparently.

Angel:

Me:

I’m not pissed at you or Olivia for the record.  I’m pissed about the whole situation.  It all kind of came out of no where for me.  Just please, all of you, stop talking to him.  Its apparently more trouble than its worth because I feel like throwing myself naked in the river.  (Later I did get pissed because I realized a few things.)

Then I got no messages.  On Myspace, I sent her a message saying I felt betrayed by her and Olivia.  Like a god damn cry baby, she posted this as her status:

Now I'm the asshole and all I wanted was an asshole who cant seem to pull his head out of his ass long enough to get air. Goddamn it

Mood:whatever

 

Yeah.  Her life is totally over.  Maybe my mistake is befriending a 19 year old.  Then I decided to be nice and write an explanation:

This is why I feel betrayed.

You lied to me once about talking to Dillon. I begged you many times to not talk to him. You still did. You could have ignored his messages and such. Then you tell me you're not talking to him anymore. Then you tell me that you told him that he needs to make amends for what he did. He did it to get brownie points with you. I was fine not talking to him again. I appreciate the gesture, but someone shouldn't be made to apologize.

When you asked me what if Dillon wanted to be friends again, you had told me you weren't talking to him long before that. You also answered with "Oh nothing." when I asked you why. Neither of you told me that he was talking to Olivia about dating you and how I would feel about it. You all know how I would feel about it.

I just don't know who or what to believe because you have become so secretive about everything. I don't feel like you trust me anymore or you fear how I will react. I told him to disappear from my life. If he still talks to you, PLEASE FOR THE LAST TIME, DON'T TALK TO HIM! Please. I'm begging you. Please.

He said he was worried about it putting strain on our friendship. It has. It has put a lot there. I just didn't say anything because you're don't need any extra baggage. But maybe I should have and a lot of this would have been avoided.

I'm hurt and I'm crying. I don't how to fix it. I just felt I owed you an explanation of some sort. Don't lie to me anymore.

 

Now her status says:

It's not worth it.

Mood:whatever

 

I’m not saying shit to any of them for the next few days.  If she talks to me before then, I’ll figure out what to do.  If I hear nothing after a week, so be it.  If I send something after a couple days and no response, fuck her.  Fuck em both.  I’ll figure something out.