I sometimes sit at the computer sipping strawberry store brand soda out of a mug with a dancing skeleton on it and wonder "Just what in the Hell did I do?" I live in one of the most boring places on Earth. I'm 24 and able to go to bars and clubs, but there are no good clubs or bars around here. They're full of the same model of people: Alcoholic Rednecks:
The women are usually middle aged and trashy or at least look it. Hell, for all I know they could be younger! Fooled me! The men are all ignorant and probably need help tying their shoes, age doesn't matter. There are very few men around here who get out of the entrapment of stupidity.
I just sit in the sanctuary that is my dark mill house and try to figure out whether this is limbo for past misdeeds or if its just a huge joke to some higher metaphysical authority over my life.
Ever have a moment in your life where you can just feel and epiphany almost there and able to touch, but it slips away and you sit infantile and bewildered? If not, here's a better one. Something you want and need is within your grasp so you reach out to grab it, but someone moves it to a higher shelf. It feels exactly like that. The aftermath is the equivalent of a hot poker to the eye.
So what about you? What makes you stay awake to the wee hours of the morning or the first rainbow light of the sun coming over the distant hills? Hopefully you come to conclusions and can rest easily. If not, there is always coffee and cookies somewhere.
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