Mine started out awesome. I got up. I showered. I danced around to creepy music while getting ready. I put on my costume and walked out my door. I went next door and chilled with my parents a bit and saw 3 of my cousins when they came by to trick or treat. I got invited to a trunk or treat thing at the fire department. I should have backed out of the party and went to that. I would have had more fun there than at the party.
My period decided to start RIGHT before I left the house. When I went to grab some spare pads, where I had about 20 last week, I had 3. I didn’t use them. Would be nice if someone who had had told me so I would know to get more! Well, we leave and I’m frantic on the inside about leaking. I wore one pad and entirely forgot to grab a spare.
We get to the party. Its interesting. Olivia is dressed like an 80’s whore. Angel is dressed like an 80’s Goth chick with cat ears. Her older brother and friend of mine, John, dressed as a Juggalo. Well. I was overdressed apparently! I had some slight cleave from a white wife beater, a blue and black flannel shirt, jeans, Steampunk boots, and a plastic knife in a holster strapped to my leg. I also came to the conclusion that we all had more teeth than we were suppose to. I am reminded that I want a toolbelt…An simple tool belt…I could go Steampunk engineer next year…
No offense to Angel and John, but holy shit. I thought my family was white trash. This woman of about 60 came up dressed in a black mini dress with fishnet over it and under it with cat ears and smeared whispers. The whore was drunk. She shouted “Welcome, ladies, to Pussycat Hollar!” I think she took her coffee Irish.
Shortly after that, she left to go get more coffee and when she returned, these two bubbas in masks showed up. Olivia and I were standing side by side facing John and Angel. This one in this mask covered in black hair with a small ape face in the middle came up and wrapped his arms around mine and Olivia’s shoulders. I felt like throwing myself down a well. Olivia froze, but I just went with it. Big. Fucking. Mistake. When he let us go, he walked around behind me and full on palmed my ass WITH BOTH HANDS. I froze and tensed up. I had no idea wtf to do. Normally I make a scene, but when you deal with drunk people…the rules are different. He didn’t exactly let go of my rear either, well with one hand he didn’t. He just slid it over to the other butt cheek when he finished passing.
We go inside and get food, thanks to the Southern hospitality of the older more enjoyable ladies. We sit there for a bit. I keep going to the bathroom to check my pad. I come back, its decided we are all going for a walk, which is fine with me, don’t get me wrong. I was not going to stay there by myself, so I go. The 4 of us set out on adventure apparently. There’s a hay ride that John and I took earlier. (Their grandpa went 35 mph. I was on that hay bale like a horse. It was actually like riding a horse…especially when I almost flipped off the back several times. It was awesome. Anyways…) Their other drunk cousin was like “Ladies! LADIES! Git awn muh ride!” We just kept walking.
As we walked, I almost stepped on a garter snake that was about 2 feet long in the middle of the road. It was still alive, but I think it was hit by a car because it was being eaten by ants at the same time. Anyways, I screamed and took off running a bit. Shortly after, we came across a set up of hay bales. It had two pumpkins. I stole one because it was suggested. I was all for it and did it. John was going to as well, but he panicked when he saw a car coming and put it back. I just kept walking with mine.
When we got to the driveway, Angel got all bitchy about it when it was her idea. John and I figured we could hide it with our bodies and walk it to her car and shove it in the trunk from the backseat. Nobody saw and its currently sitting on my front porch.
We go inside, I’m still worried about my pad because it almost leaked several times during the walk. I keep requesting that we go to a store or something so I can buy some. She just ignores me. When we go inside, she sits smug across from me. I feel like punching her in the face and using her shirt as a tampon. Even John is like “What the fuck. Why won’t she take you? That’s kinda fucked up.” She wouldn’t let him drive her car either.
Well, she starts getting hit on by said drunk cousins. Its lovely… Then they find out Olivia and myself are not related, but I’m legal to drink so… Guess who they went for. Me. They kept touching my shoulders, trying to look down my shirt, WHICH I HAD PULLED UP and I also buttoned the buttons on the flannel. They kept pulling on my knife. Ugh.
Then when Angel seems to be about ready to leave, FINALLY, it starts raining like 50 thousand fire hoses have been turned on at once. It rains like that for a half hour. Angel thinks all of her windows are up. When it stops raining and Angel has had enough of the drunk middle aged cousins hitting on her friends, we leave. While they are saying bye to everyone, Olivia and I get shoulder massages from the drunk cousins.
We get to the car. Her window was rolled down and pointed up from sitting on an incline. OH I SMILED BIG! Then one of the drunk cousins walks up wanting a ride and to sit in the backseat in the middle. I ask Olivia if she wants to sit in the middle or me. We clean it out and he just walks off.
On the ride home, it starts pouring buckets. We take the god damn interstate and she didn’t want to, BUT WE DID ANYWAY. The windows are fogged and I figured I’d clean off the back one to help. I ask if it helps any, like a god damn twat, she responds “Yeah, IF WE GET HIT IN THE ASS!” Fucking bitch.
We stop at Wal-Mart on the way home so her brother can get deodorant. At the end of the isle, there’s pads. HALLALUJAH! I buy some and we head home.
I am starting to hate Halloween, with a passion. It use to be my favorite holiday. What the fuck happened?”
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