God damn teenage lesbians.

They have no idea what the fuck they’re getting into.  They’re probably not even real lesbians yet.  (Not saying its not possible, but I seriously fucking doubt it.)

The reason I bring them up is because I was hit on by 3 today…at Wal-Mart.  I walked around carrying my package of pads because frankly, I needed them and I don’t give a damn.

What happened was…

I was walking to the 5 dollar bin of DVDs.  They saw me and stared.  I was wearing a black and blue flannel shirt, a white wife beater, beat up boots, and baggy jeans.  I looked over and, like a dumbass, smiled and kept walking.  Big god damn mistake.  They followed me.

I heard them say dumb crap like “She’s cute!”  “Look at her!  She’s carrying those like its nobody’s business!”  (Fucking duh.)  “Damn! That’s a woman!”  I stopped at the DVDs.

They stop at the other side.  One says “Hi.”  I say in a disinterested way “Hey.”

One leans over and says “You’ve got pretty eyes.”  I look up and say “Thanks.”  Then it says the dumbest shit ever.  “Are you single?  Would you date one of us?”

Given all the other entries you have read, you can kind of gather what my personality is like.  My response was “I like dick, not wet hole.” in an extremely rude manner and walked off.  They thought it was bitchy and hot and followed me.

The followed me until they saw I was with an 80’s prostitute, a Juggalo, and an 80’s Goth looking idiot.

Happy Halloween my ass.

Mine started out awesome.  I got up.  I showered.  I danced around to creepy music while getting ready.  I put on my costume and walked out my door.  I went next door and chilled with my parents a bit and saw 3 of my cousins when they came by to trick or treat.  I got invited to a trunk or treat thing at the fire department.  I should have backed out of the party and went to that.  I would have had more fun there than at the party.

My period decided to start RIGHT before I left the house.  When I went to grab some spare pads, where I had about 20 last week, I had 3.  I didn’t use them.  Would be nice if someone who had had told me so I would know to get more!  Well, we leave and I’m frantic on the inside about leaking.  I wore one pad and entirely forgot to grab a spare.

We get to the party.  Its interesting.  Olivia is dressed like an 80’s whore.  Angel is dressed like an 80’s Goth chick with cat ears.  Her older brother and friend of mine, John, dressed as a Juggalo.  Well.  I was overdressed apparently!  I had some slight cleave from a white wife beater, a blue and black flannel shirt, jeans, Steampunk boots, and a plastic knife in a holster strapped to my leg.  I also came to the conclusion that we all had more teeth than we were suppose to.  I am reminded that I want a toolbelt…An simple tool belt…I could go Steampunk engineer next year…

No offense to Angel and John, but holy shit.  I thought my family was white trash.  This woman of about 60 came up dressed in a black mini dress with fishnet over it and under it with cat ears and smeared whispers.  The whore was drunk.  She shouted “Welcome, ladies, to Pussycat Hollar!”  I think she took her coffee Irish.

Shortly after that, she left to go get more coffee and when she returned, these two bubbas in masks showed up.  Olivia and I were standing side by side facing John and Angel.  This one in this mask covered in black hair with a small ape face in the middle came up and wrapped his arms around mine and Olivia’s shoulders.  I felt like throwing myself down a well.  Olivia froze, but I just went with it.  Big. Fucking. Mistake.  When he let us go, he walked around behind me and full on palmed my ass WITH BOTH HANDS.  I froze and tensed up.  I had no idea wtf to do.  Normally I make a scene, but when you deal with drunk people…the rules are different.  He didn’t exactly let go of my rear either, well with one hand he didn’t.  He just slid it over to the other butt cheek when he finished passing.

We go inside and get food, thanks to the Southern hospitality of the older more enjoyable ladies.  We sit there for a bit.  I keep going to the bathroom to check my pad.  I come back, its decided we are all going for a walk, which is fine with me, don’t get me wrong.  I was not going to stay there by myself, so I go.  The 4 of us set out on adventure apparently.  There’s a hay ride that John and I took earlier.  (Their grandpa went 35 mph.  I was on that hay bale like a horse.  It was actually like riding a horse…especially when I almost flipped off the back several times.  It was awesome.  Anyways…)  Their other drunk cousin was like “Ladies!  LADIES!  Git awn muh ride!”  We just kept walking.

As we walked, I almost stepped on a garter snake that was about 2 feet long in the middle of the road.  It was still alive, but I think it was hit by a car because it was being eaten by ants at the same time.  Anyways, I screamed and took off running a bit.  Shortly after, we came across a set up of hay bales.  It had two pumpkins.  I stole one because it was suggested.  I was all for it and did it.  John was going to as well, but he panicked when he saw a car coming and put it back.  I just kept walking with mine.

When we got to the driveway, Angel got all bitchy about it when it was her idea.  John and I figured we could hide it with our bodies and walk it to her car and shove it in the trunk from the backseat.  Nobody saw and its currently sitting on my front porch.

We go inside, I’m still worried about my pad because it almost leaked several times during the walk.  I keep requesting that we go to a store or something so I can buy some.  She just ignores me.  When we go inside, she sits smug across from me.  I feel like punching her in the face and using her shirt as a tampon.  Even John is like “What the fuck.  Why won’t she take you?  That’s kinda fucked up.”  She wouldn’t let him drive her car either.

Well, she starts getting hit on by said drunk cousins.  Its lovely… Then they find out Olivia and myself are not related, but I’m legal to drink so… Guess who they went for.  Me.  They kept touching my shoulders, trying to look down my shirt, WHICH I HAD PULLED UP and I also buttoned the buttons on the flannel.  They kept pulling on my knife.  Ugh.

Then when Angel seems to be about ready to leave, FINALLY, it starts raining like 50 thousand fire hoses have been turned on at once.  It rains like that for a half hour.  Angel thinks all of her windows are up.  When it stops raining and Angel has had enough of the drunk middle aged cousins hitting on her friends, we leave.  While they are saying bye to everyone, Olivia and I get shoulder massages from the drunk cousins.

We get to the car.  Her window was rolled down and pointed up from sitting on an incline.  OH I SMILED BIG!  Then one of the drunk cousins walks up wanting a ride and to sit in the backseat in the middle.  I ask Olivia if she wants to sit in the middle or me.  We clean it out and he just walks off.

On the ride home, it starts pouring buckets.  We take the god damn interstate and she didn’t want to, BUT WE DID ANYWAY.  The windows are fogged and I figured I’d clean off the back one to help.  I ask if it helps any, like a god damn twat, she responds “Yeah, IF WE GET HIT IN THE ASS!”  Fucking bitch.

We stop at Wal-Mart on the way home so her brother can get deodorant.  At the end of the isle, there’s pads.  HALLALUJAH!  I buy some and we head home.

I am starting to hate Halloween, with a passion.  It use to be my favorite holiday.  What the fuck happened?”

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

So I lied…

I said I would keep you lovelies posted on making a gun holster.  I lied.  I made a knife holster instead.  At some point, I will upload pics.  I will even upload pics of me in my Halloween costume.  Sorry…

On a further note, we still have drive-ins down here!  I just saw Law Abiding Citizen and Where the Wild Things Are.  Both are amazing movies.  I recommend both.

OK.

So.  I was invited to a Halloween Costume party on Halloween, obviously, but its Thursday night and I was just invited and I have no idea what to wear because I was not anticipating doing anything.  So.  I am trying to figure out how to make a gun holster. Needless to say, ITS FUCKING COMPLICATED.  I’ll keep you all posted.

Nothing like scaring teenagers…

Angel and I went to Best Buy.  We were parking the car and noticed a lot of cars with little orange papers on the windshield.  As we were pulling into the parking space, we noticed these 3 teens carrying orange papers.

The teens noticed us and this lanky girl that needed a meal started to walk towards us, but she stopped and went back.

I got out of the passenger side as Angel lit up a cigarette.  She said, “I have a feeling I’m going to have one on my car.”  I responded with, “I have a feeling we’re going to get one by hand.”

We start walking toward them.  The lanky girl says, “I’m scared.”  The younger girl hides behind her.  The teen boy keeps his distance in his brown beanie and says, “Uh.  You want one?  Halloween Fest.”  He hands Angel a paper.

She reads it and jokingly hands it to me saying, “This seems like a place you should go.”

It was for a church function.  We laughed it off.  I said she should go too, there’s going to be free meat.  (She’s a vegetarian.)

This is so funny…

It made me laugh for about 10 minutes.  There is so much wrong with this picture…So much…

 

My inner nerd is throwing a kegger.

Stickam idiots

moneyhurtstruthpays: wow
moneyhurtstruthpays: you are gorgeous
moneyhurtstruthpays: how old are you?
kostchtchie: 24.

*moneyhurtstruthpays left the room.

That made me laugh so hard.  The audacity of people to go online and hit on random strangers.  For all they knew I could be like the girl in this video (watch at your own discretion):

(The guy singing is gorgeous.)

Oh what a life…

I sat here and decided to take tally of the things I have done to people who are into extremes.  So far I have come up with these:

A Nascar driver is now scared of me.  He and I share the same birthday so I decided to point that out and dilate my pupils and tilt my head to the side as my voice got higher.  He cleared his throat, shifted in his seat, and looked around.  Did not say one word to me until I was 3 people down from him.  Then he pointed out that he shares it with 5 other people he knows.  Then he avoided me at all costs for the rest of the event.  It was amazing.

Later on, a Myspace story…

Someone I refer to as Mr. Satan added me to his Myspace.  We conversed a bit through txt and phone.  One day he has a bad day and txts me.  I jokingly offer to help hide the bodies.  Yeah.  He stopped talking to me and deleted me off Myspace.  What a punk.  He’s a self proclaimed Satanist.  Not to mention he got mad when I used racial slurs.

And now a Stickam story…

On a Monday night, I was bored and was surfing Stickam.  I ran across the Gareth and Greg show.  It was fun…The first night.  Apparently when I joke around to a pickup artist, I am being feisty.  Pisses me off.  He called me out on open chat and its like “Wow.  I ask for advice on something and you ask for nudes.”  I haven’t been back.  But this is the guy:

(Gareth)

(And I think Greg was cuter.)

Anyways.  Neither of them want to hit on me anymore.  HAHA

Electrical tape to save the day!

I was not being abducted.  For the record… This was an experiment to see how many places you can put electrical tape (within reason) and how many of them would hurt.

The Forehead:  It stings.

The Nose:  Hurts like a bitch.

The Leg:  Nothing at all.

The Lips…:  It leaves a bruise and hurts like a Hell.  (Also, do not cover your mouth so no pressure can get out incase you have to sneeze.  That also hurts.)  My mouth is currently numb on the outside and stings in a few places.

The Aftermath (Also, I noticed my hair changed color.  I had that tape on for about an hour!  I get bored, ok?!):

The mischief makers.

Listed from Left to Right: My boobs, arm, legs, torso, and feet; Angel with the scowl, and Olivia WEARING MY PURPLE HAT.  (We have no clue as to what that yellow line is.)

 

Stickam and what happens!

Ok.  There is a lovely LOVELY internet thing called Stickam.  If you have a webcam and/or a mic, I suggest you give it a try.  Here are a few things you can do on Stickam! (http://www.stickam.com)

(Write notes to each other!)

(Btw, if you do get Stickam, that is my handle in the corner.  Look me up and maybe you can do something stupid and wind up here forever.)

(Write on your fais!)

(Become a man!)

(Draw a female as a man!)

Apparently I need more pics of what you can do…Um…

(Sleep on cam!)

(HAVE DEAD PIXELS!)

(BE A BLACK PERSON!:)

Music from the PA system.

As per request, I am I doing a detailed post about my musical tastes.  Apparently a well rounded musical taste is extremely rare.

Here goes…

Growing up I listened to country music and Elvis from my grandparents.  Its not like 99.9% of the country music bull that’s out now.  I am talking about Waylon Jennings, Hank Williams Sr., Johnny Cash, etc.  If you have the slightest bit of decent to intelligent brain cells, you know who they are.

From there, after my parents broke out of their “OMG! RELIGYUN GUD! MEWZIQUE BAD!” phase, I listened to The Beatles, AC/DC, Frank Sinatra, Kiss, Boston, Led Zeppelin, etc.  It was awesome, even though they got rid of almost all of their vinyl.  (They had awesome ones too, some of them hard to find now.  Fuck you, Baptism.  Fuck you.  Anyways…)

While I was in 5th grade and into middle school, my brother was listening to Punk.  Sex Pistols, The Offspring, Green Day, The Clash, The Ramones, etc, all became constants in the house.  At that time, I was listening to pop music.  I still have my BSB and NSYNC cds. 

Then I heard Korn at the end of my 7th grade year.  Oh my goodness.  Everything changed musically for me.  I started listening to harder things.  From there, it turned into loudness like Static-X and In Flames.

Now I listen to industrial, death/heavy metal, rock, classical, old school punk, and some other stuff.  I listen to a lot of foreign stuff more and more though.  Over here, things are starting to become generic and people are called “Sellouts” if they step out of their usual musical genre norm to try something else.  Whereas whiney boy music (Nickelback and 3 Days Grace and Red Jumpsuit Apparatus) are free to dance around on the radio waves as “AWESOME!” and “NEW!”  Whoever allowed this to happen should be taken out and beaten.  Wow.  Ranted.  Sorry.  Where was I?

The foreign type bands I listen to are mostly German, Swedish, and Japanese based.  (I listen to German the most.)

All time favorites: Frank Sinatra, AC/DC, Boston, In Flames, Johann Sebastian Bach, Dir En Grey, (and newly added) Oomph!.

I am a giant metalhead.  I always will be.

I was also told to add pics.  Yeah.  Here’s a hotness monster:

My hat…Was molested…Tear…

A few days back, I let my best friend borrow a purple knit hat my mom made for me a while back.  Well… Before she could give it back, her room mate, Olivia, took it and wore it until the outside faded.  The interior shows the true color.  I told Olivia I wanted it back.  Angel got it for me and she entirely understands why.  Olivia takes her clothes and stretches them out.  She wore a pair of Angel’s tights with no underwear on.  Angel just gave them to her.

When I got my hat back, I saw that it was badly faded.  When I pointed that out, Angel was like “IT HASN’T BEEN WASHED!”  I told her I would soak it.

When I got home, I put it in the sink with some laundry detergent.  On the way to the bathroom to do so, I sniffed it.  My poor little hat smells.  Hopefully the stink of skank will come out and the fade is just dirt.

I want to stab her.  Stab her in her face.

Farmville

It was created by the devil so people would shamelessly freak out when their crops died.

Its addictive.

A shameless plug.

One of my favorite sites to surf lately has some of the most awesome merchandise I’ve seen in a while.  I want it all!  :(  Its starting to become borderline OCD…

http://www.cherryredboutique.com/

Relaxation after a hard day’s work.

What happened was…

Yesterday Olivia was dumped off by her boyfriend so he could go to a football game.  He had promised that day that he would hang out with her and see her.  Well…He pulled a PMS move and told her he didn’t want her around because he and his mom were fighting.  She could have gone to the game, but there were hot chicks there.  Didn’t want her cramping his style.

How they met…

Angel wanted to go to Carowinds.  I was suppose to go with a free ticket.  Olivia popped back into the picture and I didn’t feel like paying for her way in.  (She pissed me off and is still pissing me off.)

Olivia started complaining about feeling sick after RIDING ONE RIDE.  So, they walked around for a while.  Suddenly, she looked up and there was Jodi.  (Yes, his named made me giggle too, but I’m just mean.)

They became official that day.  A couple days later, they slept together.  She’s been madly in love since.  (She’s fucking brain damaged.)

Anyways….

Friday is their 2 month anniversary.  She’s upset because she’s suppose to spend the night with him.  (We all know what they’re doing!  *vomit*)

But yesterday…

She was crying about it.  She lets him treat her like crap.  He verbally puts her down to the point she cries and doesn’t feel bad about it from what I’ve seen.  He prefers it if she hangs out with him and his friends instead of him with us.  We have not once made him feel unwelcome.  Her excuse is “I think we’re just at that point in our relationship where we’re trying to figure out what bothers the other.”

(Since when did bitching at someone and putting them down and making them feel lower than dirt count as part of a relationship?")

Well.  It gets worse...

One day Angel, Olivia, and I all went to look for jobs and run a few errands.  She told him that we were going to Movie Gallery and to do stuff.  He walked 2 miles to Movie Gallery to see if we had been there and was pissed as Hell because we didn’t go immediately there and to his house.

I warn you, internet people reading this, that if I suddenly stop posting, I’m in jail.

Therapy for the workers.

I have been talking to various female friends lately and we all seem to be saying the same things.  (I will get to the girls in a bit.)

There is no man alive that has taken any of us out on a date that didn't expect something in return...if it would even be called a date.

My most recent adventure in relationships ended horribly.  Four months of my life wasted on an asshole.  The only "dates" we ever went on were before we actually became a couple, every other time I had to pay for myself.  The asshole before that expected some sort of sexual gratification for it.  Yes, you took your girlfriend on a date for once and she didn't have to pay for herself.  Oh wow.  Look at that.  Its like pissing in the potty when you're a kid, you don't always get rewarded.  Doing something nice for someone else should be good enough.  BUT, if that person wants to reward you, its up to them.

Most of us are getting too old to deal with that kind of stuff.  Its like "Oh wow! You did something expected! Congrats!" and the guy tries to rip your clothes off.  Amazing. Savage beast needs a tranquilizer and an ass beating.  While you're at it, punch his parents for not raising him to think with the higher brain in the body.

Its gotten to where its always expected from every female to put out or some nonsense over something so small that is more than likely expected to happen.  What they fail to realize is that not all of us are made the same nor do we come from the same background.  Some of us have self respect, morals, and self worth that we refuse to run around opening up to whomever does something good.

Not all of us put out.  SORRY.

Not every guy out there is a selfish bitch.  There are some good ones, but there are too few.  The day I meet one, I will more than likely die of shock from surprise.

Also, during these conversations, I've noticed guys bitching about girls wanting to date an "asshole".  To some guys, "the asshole" is jealousy rearing its ugly head.  Also the guy has more than likely done a few dick moves in his lifetime to warrant being called a "dick".  Not everyone wants to rush into a relationship.  If that is an asshole, you need to check yourself out in a mirror and smash your face into it because you're probably a lot worse.  Jealousy is a deadly thing my friend.  Get over yourself.

Not all of the guys complaining about that are pulling dick moves.  Some of them have legitimate reasons to feel this way and they are more than likely understanding ones.

Guys, don't think I am just hating on you.  I've spoken with a few male friends about quite a few things too.

Girls.  What the Hell are you thinking?  We're made to seduce, not string along and use and abuse and leave.  If that's how you want to be treated, you should be beaten weekly like the rug in the living room because that is all you are and will become.  You'll use yourself and let yourself be used to the point you are worn out.

Those types are giving the rest of us a bad name and on behalf of the good ones who can't seem to find decent guys, ram a hot poker in there and walk off into the Sahara desert.  Its hard enough as is.  Women's lib was done for a reason and you're taking it for granted.  The women then wanted equal rights and to be seen as people and not seen as breeding devices.  Shame on all of you.  There are too few good men out there as is.  If you get your filth on them, we are all doomed.

Also, don't put out immediately.  I mean seriously.  Sometimes you won't feel like it, but OH MY GOSH!  He will.  Imagine that one.  Damn.  You're opening yourself up for being used.  Congratulations, you have low self esteem.

From both sides of the human race, there had been a couple of things that made me feel like a squeezed hamster.

Diseases, people.  Diseases.  If she's too laid back about sucking dick and not gagging, you should get yourself checked.  If he's too pressing about sex or anything else, keep your mind and don't rush things.  If he/she uses you and ditches you, most definitely get yourself checked.  Its to the point where you can't trust other people these days.

Not to mention the "He said / She Said".  Oh my god.  I have never wanted to stab my eyes out so bad before in my life.  Always, ALWAYS, find both sides of the story before you make your judgment. Rational thinking can save a lot of problems.  "SHE SAID YOU DID THIS!"  "HE SAID YOU DID THAT!"  That's child's play. We all were suppose to have grown out of that in middle school.  I can understand confronting someone, but ACTUALLY LISTING TO A KNOWN MALIGNANT FORCE IS JUST STUPID.  If it has tried to cause problems for someone else or with you, get the other side of the story.  If this KMF was actually right, IT SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SCREAMING WOLF BEFORE.

At this point I have decided to become the creepy old cat-crazed lady that lives in the creepy house at the end of the creepy street with the creepy fence and wildly unkempt yard that only comes out at night.  Both sides have too much shit they leave behind in a disastrous wake and I don't feel like playing nurse maid to one of these victims.  This way of thinking is leaving me alone for the rest of my life.  I'm more than likely better off.  The human race drives me crazy anyway.

Fighting in the canteen.

This is ridiculous.  I want to know what's going on with humanity that they deem it perfectly fine to yell obscenities at someone they don't even know for dress.

The Story:

My friend Angel and my cousin Hanna went to Concord Mills. It is a large mall about 30 minutes away.  When we got there, we walked around and met up with Angel's friends Olivia and Brad.  I dress like a metal head most of the time and I had on a black "I HATE U" shirt.  Hanna dressed slightly preppy.  Angel dressed slightly scene to Brad's entire scene, and Olivia dressed about like me but in a band-t.

We walked around for like ever.  Angel and Hanna and I arrived at 1.  Olivia and Brad arrived at 3.  We stayed until about 6.  Brad and Olivia left a few minutes before because Olivia had to leave.  Angel came and found me and Hanna and we decided to get out of there.  As we were leaving, we stopped for a bit because another group of people Angel knows was there and were texting her.  While we were standing there, Brad and Olivia walk outside. Angel goes to greet them, I follow.

A group of dumbass kids are sitting on a bench.  There's 5 guys and a skanky girl.  The guy goes "Oh my god. What the fuck?" as brad walked out.  The girl says "That is nasty."  I heard it, but didn't say anything because I’m over 18 with a bunch of teenagers, I can't get into fights and get arrested.  I waited for it because they kept staring.  The OMG guy says "Fucking Faggot!"  Angel and Brad stare wide eyed at each other.  Me and Olivia look at each other.  Brad's hurt, but he wasn't going to say anything.  Angel responds with. "You're a dick!" The guy says "Thank yah."  Angel: "You're welcome since we're giving compliments."

Brad and Olivia walk off.  Angel and Hanna and I walk to the car.  I look back at the group that was on the bench and they're following us.  At this point I started to map out what I'd do and I figured I'd football tackle a couple of them and go from there.  I had a full bottle of water and some rings and a studded bracelet. If I was going to get my ass beat, I wasn't going pleasantly.  Angel turned around and looked back and OMG guy flipped her off and she flipped back.

They turned to one of the group's car and they start mumbling bad things loudly.   Angel and I by this time are pumped for a fight and Hanna's just silent.  The only thing I remember was hearing a loud mumble and screaming "We can't hear you with that dick in your mouth!"  Angel screams out after I finish "Yeah! Go suck another one you God damn pussy!"

There's two guys looking for their car as we're walking to ours that heard everything.  All they could see were a bunch of guys yelling at 3 girls.  We figured later that they would have our backs.  We did apologize to them and they said "Nah, you're straight." with amused smiles on their faces.
We catch up with Brad and Olivia at Wal-Mart and tell them what happened.  Brad's like "I heard yelling! That was you guys!?"  They were across the other side of the place we parked which was a fairly great distance away.

The Question:

Wtf is wrong with people!? Who raises these little pieces of shit?!

3rd shift, yay.

I sometimes sit at the computer sipping strawberry store brand soda out of a mug with a dancing skeleton on it and wonder "Just what in the Hell did I do?"  I live in one of the most boring places on Earth.  I'm 24 and able to go to bars and clubs, but there are no good clubs or bars around here.  They're full of the same model of people: Alcoholic Rednecks:

The women are usually middle aged and trashy or at least look it.  Hell, for all I know they could be younger!  Fooled me! The men are all ignorant and probably need help tying their shoes, age doesn't matter.  There are very few men around here who get out of the entrapment of stupidity.

I just sit in the sanctuary that is my dark mill house and try to figure out whether this is limbo for past misdeeds or if its just a huge joke to some higher metaphysical authority over my life.

Ever have a moment in your life where you can just feel and epiphany almost there and able to touch, but it slips away and you sit infantile and bewildered?  If not, here's a better one. Something you want and need is within your grasp so you reach out to grab it, but someone moves it to a higher shelf. It feels exactly like that.  The aftermath is the equivalent of a hot poker to the eye.

So what about you?  What makes you stay awake to the wee hours of the morning or the first rainbow light of the sun coming over the distant hills?  Hopefully you come to conclusions and can rest easily.  If not, there is always coffee and cookies somewhere.

The finger of blame from someone not doing their job.

Sometimes getting out of bed should be like putting on flip-flops.  Other times, it seems that getting out of bed was the most horrid mistake of your life.

Lets say...

You get up and start the day with the greatest of easy.  You're happy.  You get a shower.  You hack up your lungs for only 2 minutes this time so you know you're getting over your head cold of a week and a half.  Maybe you stop to look at yourself in the mirror and Wow!  You're losing weight!  Its a great day!
After that, you check your MSN.  Your best friend wants to go do something adventurous!  Yes!  You're all for it! Something new to break the mundane!  Hallelujah!  She comes over as you're eating and you both seem to be pretty happy about things.  Oh!  What is this?!  A love interest wants to hang out later?! AMAZING!

You and your best friend go and find the place, walk around it and joke.  You leave and you go to the park. Its a beautiful day outside. You're both happy for once, not a care in the world. You get a text on your BFF's cell from that love interest. He's bored? He's coming to meet you two with some of his friends?! HOW STUPENDOUS!

You meet up.  You joke around.  You scare one of them and you all have good laughs.  You all pile into the SUV and go riding around.  After a few hours, the lot of you go back to someone's house and just relax.  There's laughs and giggles.

You hang out for a bit and its time to take your BFF back to her car.  You, the love interest, and the BF get in the car and head back at about midnight.  Her mom's called a cell.  Her mom's called your house.

You get back to your house neatly placed directly beside your parents' and your mother is sitting outside in her bathrobe and pjs waiting for you.  Your dad is inside your house using your MSN to talk to whoever you were with.

You wind up getting lectured about the ordeal, basically told it was your fault, called irresponsible, and that you don't have an education.  So, in turn, once again, Rome's mighty and epic fall is your fault.
You sit and think back as you're typing out your day into an internet blog to see if you are going insane from the vicious cycle of finger pointing in your direction from every possible angle Life has.  You realize that not only is it repetitious, you feel that you got the shit end of the stick in every way and there's nothing you can do about it.  You watch as you start to slip into a depression from all this oppressive behavior at the age of 24 from your parents.

Apparently its your fault you can't find a job in a shit economy where major corporations are laying off people that have been there for decades.  Also, it was said that you were acting spoiled and rebellious. Oh dear.  Can't have that, especially when its NOT happening to being with.  Oh and the house you're living in, apparently you can't call it yours.  You don't pay rent.  Its just a fancy prison cell.  Yet, you have no idea how life works.  Anything you have done amounts to anything.  Everything you have learned is nothing but ignorant babble.

Thank you, Rome, for forcing the blame on me. You bastard.

The carpool forgot about you.

Ever get the feeling that sometimes you should just give up trying to do something?  Probably making plans and waiting for them to go through and just giving up hope when the decided time is long since past is just a load of bull you should just stop doing?

It probably happens to a lot of you out there often, possibly too often.  You're left with that glorious feeling of being the "fall back" person, or at least there to keep someone from being lonely.  Always there for when things decide to not be as interesting as first thought or someone's bored and FINALLY remembers you exist.

When asked what happened, the excuse sometimes is hard to figure whether it involves "Oh, I forgot about you!" or "I figured you wouldn't care!" or some other nonsense along those lines.  These leave you blinking for the rest of the night.

That unhappy feeling of not being recognized as another person in someone's life is just...awful.  It makes you question things you haven't before and brings you to a state of paranoia: "Did I really get bumped off under an assumption?"  "Well. Now what the fuck am I going to do if people don't want to be around me?"  "Could it possibly be that I'm boring and entirely incapable of human contact on such an entertaining level?"  "What in bloody hell happened in my past lives to deserve this deja vu!?"  "Hurray! Last minute cancellation? Why?!"  "Do I constantly smell bad?"

The truth is, that feeling has been with me since forever, from parents to aunts and grandparents to friends.  Don't get me wrong, not all of you do this, but it does happen.

Ever try to explain the deja vu to someone and not being able to exactly get the point across?  Not implying that said person is ignorant, just that its lost in translation.

Call in the repairman.

Eventually life gets to the point where all you can do is wait and see. Unfortunately it happens too quickly sometimes for you to be able to catch your breath.  Stranded, you try to figure out what the hell you did to wind up with "The Wait and See Tactic" as your immediate last resort.

"The Wait and See Tactic" is exactly as it is worded.  You get to a point where there are no other options and you just sit back and wait and watch.  After everything is said and done, you see what happens next.

This is often used in movies, like zombie or war movies.  Needless to say, the tactic doesn't always work.  There's always that one zombie that crawls just out of eyesight and throws himself at you at the last minute, making you one of them.  In war movies, its about the same, but there's a grenade or a gun turret and BAM! you're one dead crispy bastard laying on the battlefield.

Anyways, avoid it at all costs and watch your footing carefully.  Any one of us can easily find ourselves in a situation like this.

Good luck.

The factory worker.

You know my name, my age, but you have never seen me.  So, as requested by someone I will post my face.  Enjoy.



The dragon around my neck has a name.  Ares.  He’s got an inch log, if that, knife as a tail.  Isn’t he lovely?!

A wrench in the works.

Ever go through something and you sit there wondering "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!"

Be it pictures of the past or letters that apply to current situations or videos that make you do double takes.  It all feels like a sledge hammer to the face when the realization sets in its really fucking stupid or its really over or its a screwed up situations and a bloody mess that not even all the bleach in the world could clean up.

I'm not just talking about "Boohoo!  My boyfriend left me."  I'm talking about "HE DID WHAT?! WHILE THIS WAS GOING ON?!" or "I can't believe our president just sold us out like a chump." or "Seriously. She said all these things and look what happened.  Washed up and in the gutter at the age of 20."

By that time, the headache has already set in and is slowly turning into a migraine that makes your entire face hurt.  It turns red from the force of blood and pulsates like some magic stone in an anime.  Eventually you can't take anymore so you go outside and let out a long blood curdling scream.  Just as soon as you get inside, your parents are over and your neighbor is there with his revolver that shoots hollow points (you would know this because he's told you about 40 times already).  When you try to explain what happens, everyone thinks you're going senile at a young age and slowly leave you to your brooding.

Once again, your mind starts to dwell to the monkey that's closed fist beating your skull into a pulp to get to the slimy mush inside called your brain.  Then you feel a pop and a snap.  Finally you have totally lost it and you want blood.  Since murder is entirely illegal, you sit there and stew in your unhappy circumstances for days or weeks.

Those glorious minutes ticking away by the constant loud tick tock on the wall.  Is that second hand giving you the middle finger? Nah. You're just losing it. Get a grip.

By the time the shit has settled from hitting the fan from repeatedly bouncing back from the walls, you think its all over.  Everything is finally going smooth, too smooth.  Then it hits you like a sledge hammer to the face.  The stupid road block decided to transplant itself like the Great Wall of China.  Now what?

And the beats keep on repeating…

I find it rather interesting how the same situations arise with new people holding the reins.  Always the same problem, just different faces.

Unfortunately, the same problems don't always qualify for the same resolve or answer.  I find it rather hard to solve a certain issue when it has come up several times already.  The unfairness involved in this one is like wedging a knife between a relative's shoulder blades and twisting it around in their spine.

You ask someone to do something so small, but they don't. You have no idea why its so hard to do as requested, but because of it you can't just move on.  It will always be in your face no matter what and plague you until you figure out what to do.

There's several steps you can take, one being the most extreme and the other rolling over and letting the bus hit you.  There's always an in between, but it can be just as bad as the two just listed.  You can complain about it and put your foot down and wind up friendless or you can complain, put your foot down, and just have things be a little rocky until they get better.

By this point, your head is pounding from thinking about it because no matter where you go or what you do with the disease, it will pop back up like a zit on a wedding day.

You can't change everyone, but you can change certain things about your life to avoid the people who refuse to change for the better or even see the wrong in their actions.  However, when dealing with certain people, its a bit harder...

A slight malfunction.

You find yourself sitting and staring at your empty desktop trying to figure out if you should go to bed or play a RPG. Given the day, you're bored so you play until your eyes fatigue.  You look down at the clock in the corner and it says "2:30 am".  You turn everything off and creep lazily to the sanctuary of pillows and quilts.

You get maybe 30 minutes of sleep before your mind clicks on and you find yourself laying there thinking.  Thinking about the events that have happened since the beginning of the year leading up to this singular moment. Each action has a story and each of the stories you've discovered a moral.  Each moral becomes your burden.

You find yourself wishing you were a child again so that you would never have to deal with anything as obnoxious as you have lately.  It often makes you feel like hijacking a ship and deserting yourself from people, but you and your conscience know you would go insane and probably feed yourself to sharks shortly after doing so.

As you go down the list of situational horrors and pains, sagely advice from older generations pop into your head.  "If its too good to be true, it is."  "Beware the charming stranger."  "Do not trust people to make decisions for you."  "You can't trust anyone to tell you what's right, you have to figure it out for yourself."  All of it makes you feel like an idiot.

But its all true and you find yourself with this paranoid conclusion: You cannot trust anything until it reveals its true intentions to you, if you can even trust it then. Even the most greatest of actors cannot keep up the facade for too long. Eventually the mask will erode and you will be left with the bare truth.

The first of many cogs…

The mechanism that turns.

Seeing as how this is my first post on here, I will break you in slowly.  After this, you all can figure out if its worth wading through or not.

My name is Jane, as you can tell.  I’m 24 years old and I one of my favorite things in the world, next to writing and photography, is people watching.  I listen to the stories of pain and anguish, fear and sobbing, love and joy, and happiness and surprise.  I watch a lot of things unfold as if I am watching Shakespeare come to life on a stage, it is hard to look away sometimes.  When I’m able to, I take my observations and write them down.

From there, I try to put them in a way that other people would be able to see with their eyes with whomever they wished as the players involved.

Maybe some of you will learn like I have, good luck if you continue to read and you find yourself in a feeling of deja vu.