Fuck you.

Sorry if my grammar is off more than usual or I misspell things.

I don’t think I’m going to post blogs as often as I have been for the next few days.

This is harder than I thought it would be, but not many people seem to understand.

Giving up something you want most in life, something you want to spend time with for a good chunk of it, is probably one of the hardest decisions to make, even if there doesn’t seem to be much hope.  Probably not as hard as choosing which kid to let go of in a tsunami so you can save the other one.  Probably as bad as having pull life support on your parent, child, sister, or brother.

But it might feel like it.  I’ve never had to make those decision, but I can imagine it would be just as horrible if not worse.  I’ve had a few days to think about this and I don’t care what anyone says whether it was right or wrong or what other things they want to say about it.  If matters like this were easy, there would be no pain in the world.  People wouldn’t feel much of anything, even if happiness was a universal.

I have snot dripping from my nose and tears soaking into my shirt.  If any of you say something like “become stronger not weaker from the shit life throws at you” or bitch at someone for fussing at someone else for a bad joke, get your priorities straight.  I might be mean.  I might play a nasty game of being a bitch, but I still have feeling.  Even if my heart doesn’t seem to beat nothing other than ice, I still have one and it still has cause to twitch now and then.

I’ve learned my God damn lesson.  Learn your own.