Its something. Whatever it is, its pretty bad. It has me anxious enough that I can barely keep anything down, but my stomach needs something to grind. The anxiety of waiting is keeping me awake to all hours of the night until my body runs down to the point of passing out no matter where I am.
I feel heartbreak and heartache in my future, but somehow I can feel it coming and I’m not surprised. My body almost relaxes when I think about being heartbroken like its trying to warn me of something, but there are so many battles and wars being fought with just myself over all of this, that its rather complicated to pick out what is real from the mess.
I have been feeling ill from natural causes for the past few days. I’m certain the anxiety I feel from various different emotions aren’t helping one bit. Because of this, I have been oddly fatigued and I slept almost the entirety of the day. The 2nd time I managed to go lay down, I found a hair… A blonde one with a brown end. It was a traveler from a few days ago when I gave him that hug. How it got on the pillow where another person would sleep and I would often wake up looking for him, I don’t know. I found myself screaming for some reason and I just passed out.
After 3 days and not hearing a word, I’ve started to push my hopes down. I have a feeling that they are going to rise back up with a fury and then slowly start to diminish again. I need to something. What, I don’t know. How, I don’t know. When? Yeah. If only I had everything else figured out.
Cheers. Here’s to the heartache and the pain, but the fun times in between. Make it last, make it matter, make it memorable for the here after.
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