Things are starting to pile up and the pages of my life that I thought I had figured out are starting to fall away as the glue thins. A few things have been brought to my attention and I can’t help but feel a little bit stabbed in the back over.
I know I lied when I said I wouldn’t be posting as much in the next few days, but between being unsatisfied with angry music, destroying something with a hammer, screaming angrily at the top of my lungs wishing for that lightning to have actually hit me, having my heart ripped out of my chest by my own doing in order to move on with life, and sobbing non-stop when I am in private, its rather complicated not to sit here and write it down. Even if any of the readers find it stupid, its mine and I do it my way.
I’m use to people kicking me when I’m down so I should not exactly be surprised upon hearing a few things about a few situations. Because of this, my fun is ruined. My ideas of some people have been flushed down the shitter. I’m starting to become quite comfortable facing the negative and not finding any light in any situation. I know there is at least one of you that might read this out of curiosity to see what is going on and shake your head. Well fuck you. Not everyone sees the golden rays of sun shine in the middle of a hurricane. Even when the eye passes over for a fleeting moment, the storm comes back again.
Last night I sat down and took a look at myself, friends, and my “friends”. I find that I am entirely too trusting in people. I should not be, but I always thought that giving someone the benefit of the doubt was a human thing to do. WRONG! Its the equivalent of letting in the mother fucking Devil. I’m better off pouring red brick dust in front of all my doors and putting a circle of salt around my house. Certain people wedge themselves deep under your skin like a tick. When that happens, you can only pull them out with a knife and hope you get the head too or else you get an infection. Once they are out, you burn them. You let them pop and listen to them hiss like the parasites they are. They’re opportunists and will wrong you any chance they get for personal gain or for some sort of satisfactory release (AKA orgasms galore!) Good friends don’t choose one side over the other if supposed friends are quarrelling. They stay the fuck out of it until both sides of the story is learned, unless one person is not there to defend themselves, they tell the other person to knock it the fuck off. They also don’t dally with an ex after they told you nothing but shit about him/her. They also don’t call/txt/pm someone and tell them complete and utter bullshit THAT’S NOT THE GOD DAMN TRUTH TO BEGIN WITH!
Some people on the other hand are actually worth having around. Even if they don’t agree with everything you do, they voice it politely one adult to another instead of yelling at you like a parent and acting like you’re fucking stupid for how you feel. The people that encourage you and say “Even if I don’t like the situation you get yourself in, I will help you in any way I can. Just call me and I will see what I can do.” are true friends. They come and help when you’re getting ganged up on. They bail you out of jail. They come get you when its late at night and you have a flat tire. These people are a handful out of billions of leeches and ticks. They listen to what you have to say and offer a shoulder. You, supposedly being a good and fair person, offer them one in respect. That is how it is done, not take mother fucking take.
As for myself, I have thought about many things. I am mean to a lot of people, but most deserving and some not. I offer a shoulder, a word. I don’t reveal secrets for blackmail. You wrong me first and give me the equivalent of a shotgun blast to the chest, then the gloves are off and its bare-knuckle fighting. I do have a habit of talking about people behind their backs, but sometimes its unavoidable even if its not right. I have lied about things before in the past, but I was still mostly a teenager. Lying now is just a stupid game of gain until you get busted. Then what? You deal with the mess you fucking made. Its a part of growing up that people can’t grasp.
Because of stupid teen dramas and how people behave on TV, everyone things its natural. Its about as natural as a whale raping an elephant and giving birth to an otter. You don’t shit on people to make yourself feel better, especially if that other person could possibly ruin you with pictures, txts, voice mails, etc. Its a chance, but it does happen a lot. The fact that most people believe that all this drama and lying and back stabbing and using maliciously is normal proves that they should never have been born. Their parents should have been beaten with heated iron rods and left alongside the road.
I wonder how many people that I’m talking about are actually reading this. Yeah… If you are, I know about it. If you have the balls to do it, you have the balls to deal with the consequences. Even if you get VD, they have cures for most venereal diseases… AIDS on the other hand. God luck with that one. I solute you for whoring yourself out. Even if you get laid more than me, I have enough self respect not to throw myself at dick or pussy to win someone’s affections. Its probably fake as shit anyway. Another is Death, but we won’t go there will we? Never wish death upon someone. It might take you instead.
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