What a horrible title. Why would anyone want to put themselves in a position to be referred to as that? Well… I think I have. I won’t go into specifics if you don’t know already. I am sure I’ll get reprimanded and badly by some of you for this. Everyone has a list of things that they regret. I haven’t slept with anyone, mind you. I’m not that stupid at least. But. Other things can happen…more adult things.
The internet is a curse as well as a blessing. Many good things come of it, but the bad follows shortly. It seems that when I try to make a personality change at the beginning of each new year, something is thrown into my lap by some sort of force. I can’t get a breather between the bad things that happen and I am the type of person to dwell on things out of anger.
I am at a loss for what to do. I have tried my damned hardest to avoid being in a situation to earn that title. Now I believe its charged at me like a pissed off rhinoceros and impaled me in the heart or in the brain for being so god damn stupid.
I’m at a loss to fix this problem. I guess I could just avoid him, but that is going to be so complicated. I might just have to do that. Force myself to, maybe get some peace for once. This is going to give me ulcers if I don’t have one already.
I need to get out of my own life because I’m so damn stupid and I believe people. I need to stop giving people the benefit of the doubt and just flat out dislike them and find them automatically untrustworthy from the get go, no matter how long I’ve known them. People change all the time. Unless proven otherwise, fuck trust.
God help me.
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