Ok. So. If you’ve been tuned in. You know what’s been going on in the past week. So if my typing and grammar are entirely fucked up, here’s why.
I was peacefully asleep. I woke up to txt messages galore. I don’t know why I got em all at once. But one stuck out the most. It was from Myspace saying that I got a response from that cunty mother fucking bastard. On the 8th and a half day of silence from him… I got a response to my message…
“im not actually sure whether to believe this or not :/
if its true then im speechless,
otherwise i think im pretty much speechless.
but yeah ive been so busy with work and all that ive had little time for anything else.
it was definitely good seeing you the other week though. you should come by more often :)
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT!? I POUR MY FEELINGS OUT TO HIM BECAUSE I WANT CLOSURE AND I GET THAT LITTLE MOTHER FUCKING PARAGRAPH! GOD DAMNIT!
What I said was:
“I know you've not been online for the past few days and I know I already messaged you
once, but I felt this one was more important than just checking up on you.
Remember when you stated that you've had a thing for me since forever and how you felt
that I hated you? Well, its quite the opposite. I've felt this way for some time now
and I figured that since you were brave enough to tell me after all the mean things I
have said and done to you, that I would respect you and tell you as well.
I've liked you quite a lot since probably the 2nd time I've hung out with you. I did
notice when you flirted with me, but I was shyer than I am now. It was all new to me
and that was the only way I could react. It was wrong. I've never hated you and I
feel like such a heinous bitch for how I treated you and for that I apologize.
That night Patricia ripped your boxers off, I wanted to look so damn bad, God only
knows how damn bad I wanted to look, but I couldn't. I rather enjoyed that night to be
honest with you. I was just too scared and the look on your face was intimidating to
even peak over that pillow once I let you go. You intimidated me a lot, more than you
could ever know. That's one thing that's attracted me to you; not to mention we share
simular tastes, ideals, and opinions. You do still intimidate me, but I've grown quite
fond of it also.
Any time I was around, I found it hard to look you in the face when I spoke to you or
when you spoke because sometimes you would stare right at me and I could feel my face
turning red. I have never liked blushing. It makes me feel so vulnerable so to speak
and that was why I never looked directly at you. There were times where I couldn't
stop myself from staring. I don't even know what was going on at the time, but you
could never see it. I feel like such an idiot now.
You will not believe how many times I wanted to tell you over the years, but when we
lost contact, I felt like it was too late. I wasn't even sure if you still felt the
same way about me so I kept it hush-hush when you found me again. I was rather shocked
when you told me what you did and that's why I could only ask "Why?" I should have
told you then, but once again. I'm too shy for my own good and I need to break that.
I figured I would tell you the truth and see what happens. Now that you know,
hopefully you won't die of shock.”
I MEAN REALLY! REALLY FUCKING REALLY! WHAT DIETY OR FORCE OF WHAT THE FUCK EVER FATE THERE IS FOR HUMANITY DID I PISS OFF?! I think I was a rapist in a past life or some bullshit or Jack the Ripper. THIS IS GETTING TO BE SO FUCKING TIRESOME AND BULLSHITTY ITS NOT FUNNY ANYMORE! But I sit here laughing, laughing at my luck for all this shit.
I think I’ve gone apeshit finally. I think I belong in that padded room if I find this funny to laugh so hard I can’t breathe and my ribs cramp.
FUUUUUUUUUH.
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